Fucc week has cummenced
Don't watch with your parents!!!
Firstly, sorry for the headline. Some things just write themselves.
Secondly, welcome to Intimacy Week, the best week of every MAFS season. Each time it airs, I am reminded as to why my vanilla and body-conscious ass could never go on this show. The bodies of these people are insane.
Alessandra tasks the ladies with planning their ultimate fantasy nights. Their husbands must partake. This basically means a bunch of the ladies wearing lingerie on national television, which, would you believe it, is my ultimate nightmare.
Jacqui, who is yet to have been fucked by Ryan: Warrior Princess — in the sexual sense, at least — brings her husband along to a lingerie fitting. He looks at her, talks to her and licks his lips at her as if she is a McNugget meal.
Back in their apartment, Jacqui reminds Ryan: Warrior Princess how hot she is. She tells him that it’s OK for him to say he made a mistake (in the photo ranking challenge, which we’re still talking about) and that she is gorgeous. Did he just say, “That would be a lie”? I hope we’re talking about the mistake part.
Morena is feeling so untouched by Tony, telling the girls it’s been seven years since a man has been in her bed. Tony sleeps on the couch, the very same piece of furniture that she lies on, in her lingerie, when telling Tony to paint her like one of his Macedonian girls. Tony thoroughly enjoys the experience.
Sierah requests a massage from Billy, which is more like a 10-year-old slapping sunscreen on his mother. She worries if they will get out of the friend zone.
Carina feeds Paul some food while wearing lingerie as she embraces her inner-dom, Adrian and Awhina play a board game, and Rhi and Jeff recreate their first wedding dance.
Is that everyone? Oh yeah, Jake literally left the experiment, using not trusting Ashleigh as the excuse.
They were my favourite couple during wedding week, so I’m a bit off it, but we will rebuild. How long until we meet the MAFS intruders?
Thank you bye x